DISCLAIMER: Be informed that this article is specifically talking from my understanding of the Biblical perspective on marriage and so may not reflect the popular or political view on this salient and sensitive topic. However, if you are humble enough to read on and look at the writer’s vantage point, you will learn valuable lessons that will shape your thoughts and ideas on social interactions relating to this topic.
What is MARRIAGE? Marriage is the coming together of a purpose-driven, matured man and woman for the purpose of companionship and fulfilment of the defined purpose.
God looking at the loneliness of Adam in the Garden of Eden with the enormous work he had, decided to find him a wife (companion, helper)
KEY THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT GOD’S VIEW OF MARRIAGE
- Marriage is for matured men and women. God did not give Eve to Adam the day He created Adam, meaning that MARRIAGE is NOT for Boys and Girls (the focus here is not age but rather maturity. You can be a 40-year-old boy or girl).
- God did not find Eve for Adam until Adam had something doing, a career and defined purpose in life. Meaning that Marriage is NOT for Purposeless Men (people without a clearly defined future ambition).
- Marriage is between a man and a woman. God did not create another man as a wife for Adam, He created Eve (woman). Also, God created Eve for Adam because “the man named all the birds and all the animals; but not one of them was a suitable companion to help him” (Genesis 2v20GNT). This means that marriage is not between humans and animals. It is, therefore, ungodly for a man to marry another man or animal.
- Marriage is for a man who is ALONE. God did not create Eve for Adam just because Adam had matured and had a defined purpose in life. He gave Adam Eve because Adam was “alone”. He has to be able to make independent decisions and take responsibilities for his actions. This is why the Bible says “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh“- Genesis 2v24KJV. Therefore, a man who is attached to his mother’s apron strings is definitely not ready marriage. It should be clearly stated that being attached to mother’s apron strings is not the same thing as seeking parental approval for marriage. Parental approval and blessings are very important in marriage and should not be neglected in order to have a blissful marriage.
- Marriage is symbolic. The marriage between a man and a woman is a symbolic representation of the union between Jesus Christ (Bridegroom) and His Church (Body of Believers, the Bride). This is one of the reasons why you should not be unequally yoked as a believer with an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6v14) because the roles and responsibilities of both the man and woman are specified in the Bible.
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29Indeed, no one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. 30For we are members of His body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”b 32 This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband - Ephesians 5v23-33(Berean Study Bible).
To the ladies/sisters: a man who does not understand the love of Jesus Christ to the Church will not be able to love, nourish and cherish you as expected of him.
To the men/brothers: a woman who does not understand the submission of the Church to Christ will not be able to submit to and respect you as expected of her.
A couple who do not understand the Scriptures will not Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ
God created Eve for Adam when He noticed that Adam had an enormous work to get accomplished within certain time-frame and therefore, needed a companion, someone to help him in carrying out his responsibilities towards fulfilling his purpose. This means that MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR YOUNG GRADS WHO ARE EITHER NOT GAINFULLY EMPLYED OR HAVEN’T FOUND A DISCOVERED GOD’S PATH/PURPOSE FOR THEIR LIVES. (So be careful when advising young grads to get married😀. Do not put an undue pressure on someone who may either be immature or who have not discovered God’s purpose for his life or both). First ask if he has a Purpose (a clearly defined purpose/goal and show willingness to pursue it), Mature enough (physially, financially, spiritually, emotionally, and otherwise) and ready. And for the young man who wants to get married now, my question to you is what is she (your help meet) coming to help you with? and the young lady who wants to marry that handsome guy, what are you going to help him with? Word of Wisdom: It is a punishable offence to dial the emergency number (9.1.1) when you don’t need their help. Anyways, this is a topic for another time.
WHO DECIDES WHO I SHOULD MARRY?
In the beginning, God decides who you should marry. in fact, He created Eve and brought her to Adam as a wife. But when Adam disobeyed God by eating the forbidden fruit by following the instructions of his wife who had fallen victim of the treacherous serpent with cunning words, he immediately blamed God for the wife He found for him (Genesis 2). Of course, that didn’t do him any good because one of the qualifications for marriage is the ability to take responsibilities for your actions and inaction. God created us in His own image and likeness and wants us to take full responsibilities for our actions and inactions. Although this excuse given by the man did not save him from the punishment, it changed the course of history and left the man with the responsibility of searching for his wife.
Then God said “you know what! You go find the wife and I will bless and seal the union”. And so it was written in Proverbs 18v22 – He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favour from the Lord.”. Therefore, man has the full responsibility of finding a wife for himself and then bring her to God for the blessing. This sounds like a very easy task but believe me, it is more complicated for a man to do it by His own ability as he needs to find “the bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh”-Genesis 2v23.
But God being a loving father, HE IS STILL INTERESTED IN GUIDING His sons both toward discovering their purposes in life and finding their helpmeets. That’s why He said “Come now, and let us reason together. Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.”-Isaiah 1:18 NKJV. He is more willing to guide us than we are willing to listen.
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” – (Amos 3v3). God said, if you want to have it My Way, we will have to find a common ground and agree on some basic things, including background checks. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?- II Corinthians 6:14 NKJV. Do not marry an unbeliever (mind you, going to church and being involved in Church activities/leadership does not make someone a believer).
God who is the Founder and Architect of the institution of marriage designed it for companionship. Marriage being a union between a MATURED MAN AND A MATURED WOMAN. Not a matured man and a teenage girl. Neither is it between two matured men or women. Nor between human and animal. The MARRIAGE BTW A MATURED MAN AND A MATURED WOMAN IS A SYMBOLISM OF THE UNION BETWEEN JESUS CHRIST (GROOM👑) & THE CHURCH (BRIDE👸).
Therefore, before saying it’s MARRIAGE TIME, you have to make sure that you are mature (physically, financially, psychologically, emotionally, and so forth), have a clearly defined purpose in life with the zeal to achieving it, and ready to take full responsibilities for your actions and inactions. Marriage is too sacred and important to rush into!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING OUT TIME TO READ.
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TILL NEXT NOTE: JESUS BLESS!
CHRISTIAN G. OKWUDIWA
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